So, I have heard a lot about the book The 5 Love Languages. Apparently it's on the must-read list for premarital counseling. It was recommended to me by a friend a couple months ago and then I heard others speaking about it recently, so, I decided to give it a look-see.
The whole premise of the book is that people feel loved in different manners. Some feel loved by receiving gifts, others by receiving intimate touch, some by being praised, and so on. The author claims that everyone has a "love tank" and a relationship suffers when one member's love tank is running on "empty." The concepts are easy to grasp, but something upon which one doesn't typically ponder much.
I started to think about it and wondered what makes me feel loved? I never really thought about how each person feels loved differently than others. What does the way we feel loved say about us?
- Letting me sleep. Taking the dog out in the middle of the night. Turning down the volume on the tv. I love being allowed to sleep.
- When something is cleaned around the house. I dislike cleaning but I love having a clean house. This is huge for me.
- Being touched/caressed. I love massages and back scratches. I think I get stressed easily and these help cool me off.
- Kisses on the forehead. Brushing the hair out of my eyes.
- Being bragged about. It's nice to know that I am worthy of your praise.
- Being cooked for. I feel like cooking is a waste of my time, but I see being cooked for as an act of love.
- Little things that don't cost anything. Notes on facebook walls. Post-its attached to windshields. Little reminders. They're awesome.
- Being taught something that's a "guy thing." Having a guy trust/think highly enough of you to want to teach you his "guy things" is a big deal. I like knowing I am smart/cool enough to be trusted with changing the spark plugs on the car.
- Reaching out to my interests (ballroom dancing, broadway, reading, classical music, airplanes, traveling). This is a no-brainer.
ways that I show others I love them:
- Being touchy-feely. Giving hugs. Playing with hair. Giving massages.
- Being a smart-aleck in a sarcastic way. This I will only do if I am close to you and care about you.
- Giving of little things (I would give bigger if I could!!!). I like to give out food like ice cream, milkshakes, and popsicles to my friends at work to show them I care about them.
- Playing mom. If I love you, I will take care of you. If you're sick, I will tend to it. If you're bleeding... well, I will pass you on to someone who doesn't faint at the sight of blood.
- Try and make their life easier if I can. Do an errand for them. Help them complete tasks. Pamper, essentially.
- I will brag (probably WAY TOO MUCH) about the people I care about. But it means I love you.
So my question is: how is it that you feel loved? What can someone else do for you that makes you feel the most loved?
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